Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Things people say to pregnant ladies (and what you should say instead)

A few days ago, I posted this on Facebook:
and it got a lot of attention. Some women were empathizing or relating their own stories, others were expressing sympathy and encouragement.

I've reached the third trimester. I'm tiny and my belly sticks OUT. People can't help but make comments. Here's the deal. (For the most part) I think pregnancy looks pretty good on me. And (for the most part) I don't take these words people say to heart. Because I know that they stem mostly from ignorance.

That sweet old lady that asks if you're sure there's only one baby in your belly? She's not being mean. She, for whatever reason, thinks she's being funny.

My husband and my father both thought, "Wow! You're getting big!" was a compliment. Seriously. Why? Because when you are growing a child in your body, your belly is SUPPOSED to be getting bigger and this, "You're getting big!" translates to "Look how healthy your baby is!" or "Look how successful your pregnancy is going!"

Because there are a fair number of people who go around unknowingly saying rude and possibly hurtful things to pregnant women, I thought a PSA was necessary.

Every woman carries differently. An overweight woman or a woman with a longer torso isn't going to show nearly as much as a short, thin woman.

And of course, women of the same size can carry their babies quite differently. I have two friends who are of similar build. One had a teeny-tiny pregnant belly, one had a very large pregnant belly. Neither were carrying twins. They were both carrying one happy, healthy baby.

The point is, you just never know.

My body is not for you to judge, pregnant or not.

So, in the words of my father when I schooled him about nice things to say to pregnant women, "What am I supposed to say?"

"You look great!"
This is always acceptable. Pregnancy is a time when not every woman feels her prettiest and a compliment is so welcome.

"Your belly is so cute!"
So, you want to acknowledge the belly (assuming you know 100% for sure she is pregnant!) without being rude? Say something nice about it!

My favorite? "You don't even look pregnant from behind!" I've heard this twice and it made my day each time.

Last night, a woman said, "Oh! Your baby is so cute!" Which was kind of funny that she said "baby" and not "belly" but it was still much appreciated. I also enjoy, "Have another slice of cake. The baby needs one." Haha.

What type of comments did you receive while pregnant?

p.s. Don't forget to enter my giveaway :)


Cassi Polzin said...

My mom was shopping for baby clothes a week after she had me and when checking out someone asked her when she was due!

Anonymous said...

You're so right Cassi!~ The ABSOLUTE worse is actually giving birth and having caring and inquistive folks say "When's your baby due?!" When I had Kirsty I thought I looked great...after all I had a cute, healthy baby girl--and I felt really good. Later I looked at the pictures and "ugh!" Let's just say I didn't look as good as I obviously felt...and I probably still have some of that 27 year-old baby weight! :-) Colleen~


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