Saturday, June 27, 2009

Dating a non-dancer

A fellow lindy hopper asked me if it was hard to date a non-dancer.

The swing scene, at least my local scene, is chockablock full of singles. The man behind the major swing organization in town says he likes it that way because once people start marrying off, they stop coming to the dances. Most hardcore lindy hoppers will not date a non-dancer. The few that do, stop dancing as often, if not altogether. Is it hard for someone, a previously self-described lindy-addict, to date a non-dancer?

No. It's not hard for me. "Of course," I explained to my friend, "I would give up dancing for this guy."

There was a pause on the other end of the line followed by an "Oh wow!"

I think many of my friends would be like...oookay. So you'd give up dancing. Whatev. It's just dancing. But, for those who refer to themselves as lindy hoppers, the dance becomes so thoroughly part of your identity that to give it up is completely unthinkable.

Until priorities change.

I surprised myself the night I casually mentioned to Mike, "Yeah, I'd be open to dancing someone who doesn't dance." (mentally, I added: only if that someone is you!

Someone will probably come along one day that you realize means more to you than that dance and it will be surprisingly easy to back off a little from the hardwoods. I haven't given up lindy hopping. I still love to dance, but I love Mike way more than I love any swingout variation with any dancer in the world.

I was hardcore for only a year and I'm glad I had that time. I got to go to ATLX5 and CHEX2. Nick Williams once asked me to dance. I've made so many friends who share a love of Jesus and lindy hop! I'm grateful for that. And now I'm very grateful for a man who knows how much I love to dance that he puts himself aside and trusts me enough to dance with other men once a week. Who will sway with me in the kitchen when a slow song comes over the speakers. While we don't share like hobbies, we're on the same page with the big stuff that's actually important.

Anyway, if you love your hobby more than your significant other, they may not be the right one for you.


Kuntow??? said...

Seemingly, you were/are also to "dating" a non-dancer, since dancing with non-dancers is par for the course. :-D

Stargirl said...

Luckily, Kevin and I love each other and video games equally.


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