Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I have fear of man--Catholic man.

I went running yesterday morning. I ran for 1.2 miles. I have since decided that this was a bad idea because it was a Tuesday and days that begin with T are my gym days. And I don't particularly want to go to the gym after I went running that morning. So I think I'll run on MWF (if I wake up early enough) and go to the gym on TT. If I skip running, that's okay. Because it's free. The gym is not.

I went running around my block and around the next block down. Which just happens to be where my old church is. You know, the church from when I used to be Catholic. Well, I called Fr. Chris after my run because I needed to talk to him. I owed it to him. As my friend, as my priest, I should have never dropped off the face of the earth without so much as a "so long, and thanks for all the fish."

We met after school for about an hour and a half. When I arrived at St. Mary's, my brother and my father were there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"What are you doing here??" They responded.
"Ha ha. Don't get your hopes up!"

My meeting began with a hug. That was good, I really missed the guy. I spilled my heart. All of it. Truths that only God and Mike know. I said things that you just don't say to a Catholic priest. Things that I no longer believe about the faith. And he responded with dogma, catechism, and theology. He also responded with love, don't get me wrong. He acknowledged the fact that, yes, I had found Christ in a protestant church. But know that I am equipped with that...it's time to come home.

I know I made everyone sad when I left, and I'm sorry that I don't think I'm ever 'coming home' in the sense that you want me to.

I am confused now, more than ever. All I desperately want to do it what is right. I am meeting with my pastor sometime soon, hopefully tonight. Mike's comming with me and that makes me glad. I get flustered easily when it comes to discussions that are Catholic vs. Protestant.

It's not about people, or feelings, or any of that. It's about the truth. Everyone keeps telling me what the truth is. But they are all contradicting each other.

♥Tiffany♥

3 comments:

Miscellaneous From Missy said...

Hi, Tiff.

You're right; everyone's going to have their version of the truth. And lots of (loving) advice. It can get crazy.

Thankfully, in James chapter 1, God says,

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. Those who doubt should not think they will receive anything from the Lord; they are double-minded and unstable in all they do."

I'm praying! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm a former Roman Catholic who spent some serious time reading The Bible before deciding to find a new Church. Their dogma just doesn't stand up to legitimate scrutiny. I know it can be hard to quit the RC, their pomp and ceremony get ingrained in you and their hearts seem to be in the right place. You have a duty to follow the truth as Christ taught it though. No amount of Hail Marys can make unBiblical teaching right.

Congrats on your exercise schedule by the way. There is nothing like a good run to keep both the body and the mind running right.

Tokyo Pink said...

Wow! I can't run very much. It makes me feel very sick. You rock, sis! I am praying for you. It's rough, and that sucks. I love you so much!

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